Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Why Inspiration Media Leaves Me Feeling Empty

In the last few years I have noticed that the world seems to be a lot more tolerant of differences, or at least one would believe so by our social media. You can't go far without seeing a motivational, inspirational message somewhere.

Don't believe me? Go check your Facebook wall. Check Twitter, and the front page of Yahoo, or wherever you get your news from. Go ahead...I'll wait check mine, too.

Ready to compare results?

Monday, November 25, 2013

Giving Others Your Attention and Respect

As I hung up the phone my stomach pulled in with anger rising up through my body. I am a mature person (most of the time) so I refrained from spewing it into the ear of the inconsiderate person on the other end of the receiver.

She just committed one of my all time most disliked pet peeves.It was a miscommunication, which is frustrating, but it wasn't just the misunderstanding it was the careless way it was delivered that makes me upset. This happens to me frequently when I talk to office associates, but none as often as doctor offices. I get it.  I really do.  They get so many calls a day, and I am certain that most people want to tell them their life story, never getting to the point.  I answer the phone for my husband's tree business, and out of what every customer tells me during the majority of the calls only about 25% of it is necessary information. This is with people inquiring about their trees, yards, and lawn sprinklers, so one can imagine that being times ten with people calling about a health related concern. So, I do empathize that they have to move through conversations quickly. I get that they probably get used to filtering through about 1/3 of what they hear to get the really necessary info. The thing is, I don't speak that way. I am on a need to know basis with everyone. If you filter though any of my words you're not gonna end up understanding any of what I am asking, or trying to state.

The conversation went like this:

Saturday, November 23, 2013

How Can We Best Support Autism Parents Who are Struggling?

Last week I wrote a blog entry about a poor parenting moment I had.  I laid it all out. It wasn't anything way out there. It was about a moment of struggle that I had when my Beans was having a what I call 'not having it day' that was in more of the week than a day. He was not having clothes, and not wanting to move when asked. I was late for everything that week, and some things were really important. Days on end like that had me at the end of my rope. I yelled at him, and tried to pick him up, which did not go well, since he's about the size of me. One day a few days ago he decided he was going to just park it on the middle of the parking lot. Just booomp., and there he is. Solid as a rock. Nothing I can do to change it. He's just there until he decides not to be.  There's not a doubt in my mind if he was smaller any parent would just pick him up, and move him. The thing is as his body grows, cognitively he isn't.

In any event, I posted that post knowing that in the autism community there had to be others struggling with the same thing.  Maybe their children wasn't as old as mine, but they had to experience this behavior, and at times of constant struggles I am sure that most parents have yelled. Yet, when I posted that entry I got very little feedback. When I did, it was mostly hinting at pity for me, or maybe disdain? I am not sure, but I do know I got little support. It was awkward, and the way I felt judged was not helping, so I took it down.

This got me to thinking, and wondering.

When did it become a taboo to say you're struggling with your special needs child?

Friday, November 22, 2013

Awkward Encounters of an Autistic Woman

It happened again.

I am strolling through Walmart, actually power walking, because that is my usual speed. I round the corner of the cereal aisle, and out of the corner of my eye I see a lady, and a boy. I think to myself that that person looks a bit familiar, but then I am in an area shopping where there's a lot of people I see frequently that I don't know. I get a couple feet away, and I hear "Where is the rest of your family?" It's the lady that I passed. I study her, and her son's face for a moment, and realize she is my husband's cousin. She is offended. I have done this to her before. I try to explain that when I am shopping I am in the zone,and not paying attention. This isn't the first time I have blogged about my Face Blindness. I know that I have made so many social mistakes with this particular person that there is no way to fully recover. I just try to be gracious possible about the incidents, and hope she just thinks I am a bit loopy, and not snobby. It's not personal.

The other times it has happened it was with people I barely was acquainted with. Those situations I can kind of shrug off, because it's not that unusual to not recognize an acquaintance you don't know very well. However, I have known this person for over 16 yrs. I don't see her often, but honestly I should recognize her. As I thought about this after I got home another similar memory came to mind.

It was 15 years ago, just after my daughter was born. I was going out to dinner with my husband, and a big gathering of his family who was visiting. We got in the door, and one of bus boys seemed to take notice of us

Thursday, November 21, 2013

More Than Lonely

I laid my head on my pillow, and tried to close my eyes for sleep, but instead the heavy feeling of sadness came. It's the unique feeling a deep throbbing ache in my chest as I hold back sobs as hot tears pour down my face.  I have only felt this feeling a handful of times in my life, and they were all at that moment when I tried to relax my mind to sleep, but instead the pain I was hiding from in the day came out of the shadows of night.

I remember once feeling this way as a little girl, maybe seven, or so.  I nestled down in my bed for sleep, but instead the days events played out in my mind.  It must have been a particularly bad day. I pulled my blankets up to my chin, and chewed on the strings of my favorite bed spread to try to comfort myself.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Changing Perspectives #ThisIsAutism

I must admit, I did not fully read Suzanne Wright's Call To Action until this morning. I am familiar with Autism Speaks, and their agenda, so I had a pretty good idea what it would contain. I wish I could say I was shocked, dismayed, or even surprised at what I read when I took the time to fully consider the entire letter, and what it meant, but I wasn't.

I would like to counter Autism Speak's ideas that autism is somehow new, and somehow only affecting children. I would like to somehow understand how an organization could have so much access to autistic advocates, yet deny those people a say in advocating, and speaking on behalf of a 'disorder' they're diagnosed with. I would like to ask them why they alienate us. Why they scream for support from the government, but offer not a dime to adults on the spectrum needing support today.

But, I won't.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Learning to Overcome: Learning Disabilities in the US

 I was contacted by Cara from Special Education Degree about sharing an infographic about learning disabilities that her team had created.  Learning disabilities is a topic I touch on often in my blog. In my home we have a variety of different learners, and I value the importance of educating others on what LDs are, and further spreading awareness that will lead to meaningful change. It's my view that LDs aren't overcome, as much as need to be taught differently than the rest of the population. The more we can understand, and effectively customize education efforts for the differently minded, the better the outcome will be for these unique individuals.

Below is a message from the people at Special Education Degree:

Learning to Overcome: Learning Disabilities in the U.S.

Chances are, you or someone you know has been diagnosed with some type of learning disability. It is estimated that 4-6% of the population in the United States has some type of learning disability.  While many view these individuals as lacking in intelligence, this couldn’t be further from the truth. www.special-education-degree.net has created an infographic detailing the statistics behind learning disabilities, the top five diagnosed learning disabilities, and how things we take for granted, such as an education and employment, seem to be a challenge for those with a learning disability.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Having Baby Dreams-what do they mean?

Sleep in my house (for me and Beans anyway!)  hasn't been happening as often as it needs to, or that I would like. Any night I get to sleep more than 4 hrs uninterrupted is a great night! I have been working on that with Bean's doctor, and it's a work in progress.  However, that's another post for another day.

When my sleep is all fragmented my REM cycles create vivid dreams that I recall in detail upon waking.  The theme recently is babies. Now, I know that dreaming about babies usually not indicative of actually wanting a baby.  Babies in dreams can mean several different things from your own